Hello friends,

You know what scares me the most? Every night I used to yearn for your cuddles and you hate giving them to me because of the chest tightness you experience after. Now, you hug me every night thinking I want them, but it made me realise, they no longer give me the sense of security and I no longer yearn for them.

It’s my birthday month.

I can barely hold it in anymore

Maybe I’m not worth fighting for anymore

Guess who spent her whole month's salary on stationery again?

Do I need to be that obvious?

I found a stationery store at a small nook in Gurney. YUP, dangerous I KNOWWW.

I did the damage and nope, I have yet to start journaling again, my fountain pen inks are still in Singapore and I'm dying to get one here.

Here are the damages I've done at WRITER.

Who can pass up on shiba inus amirite and .... please please let me know where should I stick this giant ass sticker, it was an impulse and I have no RAGRETS. 

Finding love in what I do helps my anxiety. I recently edited a video and uploaded it to my YouTube channel. I know it's simple video with simple editing but I finally got the urge to do it. You can support me by clicking on the video and subscribe!

So long,

Jamie

 Hi non-existing readers,

I know it is just me who reads, and it will only be me who reads in the future. I need an escape, I need it now, and this is my escape.

As you all know, the world is suffering from the pandemic- COVID-19. I did not expect this to come, nor did anyone. At the end of 2019, my husband was pestering me to go back to Malaysia in the beginning of 2020. I reluctantly agreed. We both tendered our resignation letter in January. However, we can't go back as COVID-19 is getting worse. We worked from home since end of April to end of May. We couldn't wait any longer in June as our contract for house rental ends in May. We flew back to Malaysia on 5th of June. 

It was during quarantine, when I finally made some friends in Singapore, and I couldn't meet them before I fly back to Malaysia due to Circuit Breaker. I need to readjust my life again in Penang. I have no friends to hang out with, I'm a foreigner in my own country. I don't recognise the road, I have no where to go during weekend except to stay home. I feel alone, as if I don't have a life of my own other than sharing it with my husband. 

Life is getting harder, I won't deny COVID-19 has affected me. It has, and I'm not sure I'm liking it or not. I want to grow, I want to be different, I want to be better. I'm afraid of being the same me 5 years ago. I want people to know me as me not as my husband's wife. I want to have my own friends in Penang, my own life I create in Penang. 

I guess you can't break what's already broken.

Till next time,

Jamie